{"product_id":"before-they-were-men-jacob-tobia-9780593797945","title":"Before They Were Men: Essays on Manhood, Compassion, and What Went Wrong","description":"\u003cb\u003eGender nonconforming thought leader and bestselling author Jacob Tobia offers a paradigm-shifting argument for fundamentally reframing how we think about men.\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eThe conversation about masculinity, patriarchy, and misogyny has never been so prominent or heated. Alarmed by a new generation of angry, broken young men, genderqueer writer Jacob Tobia sets out to explore what's going on and comes to a shocking conclusion: Emotionally and spiritually speaking, men and boys may be the ones suffering \u003ci\u003ethe most\u003c\/i\u003e under the gender binary right now. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eTobia should know. For their gender-defying adolescent heart, the nonconsensual process of being \"made a man\" was crushing. After spending a lifetime fleeing manhood and masculinity, they dare to ask the question: What happens if we stop understanding men as categorical beneficiaries of patriarchal institutions and start understanding them for what they are--\u003ci\u003eco-survivors\u003c\/i\u003e of patriarchy itself? \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eIn a series of personal and revolutionary essays, \u003ci\u003eBefore They Were Men\u003c\/i\u003e argues that we must rewire much of our framework of feminism. Through this much-needed nonbinary intervention into a two-sided discourse gone stale, Tobia boldly posits compassion and empathy as the forces that will lead men--and us all--to a brighter future. Urgent, surprising, and counterintuitive, their book covers topics such as \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- the unspoken body image issues and dysmorphia confronting men and boys\u003cbr\u003e- the difficulty of challenging a world that glorifies war, aggression, and the violence of men\u003cbr\u003e- the case for rethinking, and ultimately retiring, counterproductive terms like \"toxic masculinity\" and \"male privilege\" \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eFrom exploring the abuse endured by men in the name of gender norms to addressing the myriad failures of feminist discourse in grappling with men's suffering, this book calls everyone--men, women, and nonbinary people alike--back to the table.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Jacob Tobia\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 0593797949\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9780593797945\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Harmony\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 08\/26\/2025\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 320\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Hardcover\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 1.25lbs","brand":"Jacob Tobia","offers":[{"title":"Hardcover","offer_id":46747917254911,"sku":"9780593797945","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_5bcc34fa-e8e2-4c4a-9ae6-8f08600f7054.jpg?v=1743585114","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/before-they-were-men-jacob-tobia-9780593797945","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}