{"product_id":"blackmoney-dimitry-martens-9798291943014","title":"Blackmoney: The Inheritance Fund PART 5","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBLACKMONEY: THE INHERITANCE FUND (PART 5)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003e\"Because sometimes, the only return on investment... is death.\"\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWelcome back. Or... welcome for the first time. Doesn't matter. If you're holding this book, you've either: \u003cbr\u003eSurvived four previous BLACKMONEY brain traumas, \u003cbr\u003eClicked \"Buy Now\" while trying to download antivirus software, \u003cbr\u003eOr you just really hate your family.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't just Part 5 - this is a psychological excavation. A literary crime scene. A funeral brochure soaked in sarcasm and sealed with a will no one understands.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere's what's buried inside this grave of logic and decency: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA grave full of untaxed cash\u003cbr\u003eA spider that may be God. Or a tax inspector. Or both.\u003cbr\u003eA crucifix with no capital gains exemption\u003cbr\u003eA grandmother in pearls who negotiates with Satan\u003cbr\u003eA shovel. Because murder is cheaper than probate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYes, it's about inheritance. But not the kind you'd expect. This is a financial horror-comedy where dying is easy, but collecting is a bureaucratic warzone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou'll find: \u003cbr\u003e- Passive-aggressive Jesus on page 37\u003cbr\u003e- A chapter that screams legal terms at a tombstone\u003cbr\u003e- A toddler accidentally appointed executor of a 14-million-euro estate\u003cbr\u003e- And a coffin that doubles as a safe deposit box\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWARNING!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eReading this book may cause: \u003cbr\u003e- Sudden urges to dig in your garden (don't)\u003cbr\u003e- Interest in inheritance law (help is available)\u003cbr\u003e- Nightmares about elderly women with very sharp knitting needles\u003cbr\u003e- Existential spirals tied to wills, worms, and weddings\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAUTHOR'S PERSONAL NOTE\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis book was written during a period of legal confusion, family betrayal, and mild indigestion. Since publishing, I've been removed from the family WhatsApp group, banned from three funerals, and legally disowned by my uncle's dog.\u003cbr\u003eI regret nothing. Except maybe the Latin quote on page 12. No one understands Latin. Not even Latin.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey say, \"Money is the root of all evil.\"\u003cbr\u003eI say: \"That depends on who's holding the shovel.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eEARLY REVIEWS\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e\"It's like if a funeral, a hedge fund, and a nervous breakdown had a baby.\"\u003c\/i\u003e - Billionaire (anonymous, for obvious reasons)\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e\"Why is there a spider?\"\u003c\/i\u003e - Literally Everyone\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e\"This book made me question my will. And my life choices.\"\u003c\/i\u003e - Confused Reader\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e\"The mother-in-law on the cover looked exactly like mine. She's now suspicious.\"\u003c\/i\u003e - Terrified Son-in-Law\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT FOR READERS WHO: \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGoogled \"how to inherit fast without getting caught\"\u003cbr\u003ethink death is funny, if it's profitable\u003cbr\u003eEnjoyed Parts 1-4 and want to be emotionally wrecked again\u003cbr\u003eHave ever looked at a rich old relative and whispered, \"Soon.\"\u003cbr\u003eBelieve graves are for gold, not grief\u003cbr\u003eUnderstand that funerals and finance go hand-in-hand\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBOTTOM LINE?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis isn't just a book.\u003cbr\u003eIt's a dark comedy financial thriller disguised as literature.\u003cbr\u003eIt's satire dipped in diesel and lit with inheritance paperwork.\u003cbr\u003eIt's what happens when grief, greed, and god complexes collide in a courtroom with broken heating.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBLACKMONEY: THE INHERITANCE FUND (PART 5)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll check your grandma's bank account.\u003cbr\u003eBut mostly... you'll regret nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRead it before the will is read.\u003cbr\u003eOr during. We're not responsible.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Dimitry Martens\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9798291943014\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Independently Published\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 07\/10\/2025\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 32\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.09lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.00h x 5.00w x 0.07d","brand":"Dimitry Martens","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":49171412877567,"sku":"9798291943014","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/blackmoney-dimitry-martens-9798291943014","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}