{"product_id":"dont-be-a-ho-ho-gbryella-whyt-9781971419084","title":"Don't Be a HO HO HO For Valentine's Day!: The Only Thing Getting Popped Should Be the Champagne Cork","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDon't Be a HO HO HO This Valentine's Day!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe only cork that should get popped is the champagne bottle.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIs your HO HO HO friend spending Valentine's Day alone again? Crying over a man who \"doesn't do Valentine's\" - yet somehow still found a way to waste her time? No card. No candy. No plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLet's fix that before next February.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDon't Be a HO HO HO for Valentine's Day is a classy-but-inappropriate gag gift for any woman who has lowered the bar, praised bare-minimum effort, or gotten played by a man who never shows up properly. Told in brutal rhyming verse by a no-nonsense grandma who's seen it all, this savage little book is equal parts hilarious, horrifying, and weirdly healing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside are lines like: \"Men will never have to think things through, if they don't fear consequences.\" And the ultimate rule: No Valentine's gift? No date? No plan? Then close the door tight and say no to the no.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't about love. It's about standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTitles in the Don't Be a HO HO HO series include: \u003cbr\u003eDon't Be a HO HO HO for New Year's\u003cbr\u003eDon't Be a HO HO HO for Your Birthday\u003cbr\u003eDon't Be a HO HO HO for Halloween\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e G'Bryella Whyt\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 1971419087\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9781971419084\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e G'Bryella Whyt\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 01\/13\/2026\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 42\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.27lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.50h x 8.50w x 0.11d","brand":"G'Bryella Whyt","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":48447236342015,"sku":"9781971419084","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_b7aaf60c-f993-4c37-b1a4-1955968ef3d6.jpg?v=1777229763","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/dont-be-a-ho-ho-gbryella-whyt-9781971419084","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}