{"product_id":"dracula-dick-cody-heese-9781087890760","title":"Dracula: But The Count Runs Half Marathons","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePLEASE READ\u003c\/strong\u003e: \"Dracula: But the Count Runs Half Marathons\" is an affront to classic literature and everyone who loves it. By adding a single sentence to every chapter of Bram Stoker's original novel, Dick Cody Heese fleshes out Count Dracula's backstory so that he runs moderate distances as a hobby. These changes have no effect on the plot, nor do they add any value to the reader's experience. However, they do imply that Count Dracula participates in various half marathons across Transylvania and Eastern Europe. Hard-working, talented authors everywhere are assuredly in agony over the publishing of this novel.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDick Cody Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including \"The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis,\" \"Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God,\" and \"The Communist Manifesto: But Tony Hawk Can Keep His Stuff.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Dick Cody Heese\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 1087890764\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9781087890760\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Dick Cody Heese\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 07\/09\/2021\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 408\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 1.20lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 9.00h x 6.00w x 0.84d","brand":"Dick Cody Heese","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":44051055083775,"sku":"9781087890760","price":15.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_bb3c9b1d-6500-4356-9055-07c910809e0a.jpg?v=1685010822","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/dracula-dick-cody-heese-9781087890760","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}