{"product_id":"fall-risk-frank-n-shumard-9798275658521","title":"Fall Risk: The Memoir of a Man Who Only Wanted to Pee Alone","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn \u003cb\u003eFALL RISK: The Memoir of a Man Who Only Wanted to Pee Alone\u003c\/b\u003e, Frank Shumard turns a five-day hospital stay into a hilariously honest, painfully relatable, and unexpectedly uplifting memoir. From the moment a bright-red \"FALL RISK\" wristband is slapped on him like a parole ankle monitor, Frank realizes he has entered a world where nothing is private, the bed alarms have trust issues, and nurses can smell rebellion from down the hall.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWith razor-sharp humor, he chronicles: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Bed Escape Alarm Olympics\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe IV Pole Grand Prix\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003ePopsicles: the last surviving joy in hospital cuisine\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eAngels in scrubs... and the occasional demon in discount perfume\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd the tragic downfall of human dignity when a man just wants to stand up without triggering NASA\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is a book for anyone who has ever been a patient, loved a patient, or wondered why hospital gowns are designed by people who clearly hate humans. You'll laugh. You'll cringe. You'll question the entire healthcare décor industry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut most of all, you'll cheer for a man whose only goal-his Everest-is to pee without an audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Frank N. Shumard\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9798275658521\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Independently Published\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 11\/23\/2025\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 90\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.29lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 9.00h x 6.00w x 0.19d","brand":"Frank N. Shumard","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":48014358446335,"sku":"9798275658521","price":10.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_dd7140cf-fed9-4ec5-9a03-e04889870d10.jpg?v=1767748047","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/fall-risk-frank-n-shumard-9798275658521","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}