{"product_id":"how-to-punch-a-monkey-brian-scolaro-9798643847175","title":"How To Punch A Monkey","description":"\u003cp\u003eFollowing his appearances on \u003cem\u003eConan\u003c\/em\u003e and his \u003cem\u003eComedy Central\u003c\/em\u003e special, Brian Scolaro releases his first book of his jokes, rants and musings. \"How to Punch a Monkey\" is a ridiculous journey through the mind of one of America's best underrated comedians. It contains his thoughts on topics like social media, death, being fat, sneezing, New York, sports, good-looking people, and the lighter side of his battle with multiple sclerosis, as well as nonsensical sketches like a conversation with his penis, the Ten Commandments writing session, an Old West Sheriff who pronounces the word \"posse\" wrong, and things never said by Mother Teresa.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe goes from silly...\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eI have self worth. I just don't use it. I finally had Pissghetti. It was disgusting. Frankenberry was the first openly gay monster. God must be tired of organ music by now. When I was a kid I went to John Cougar Melon Camp. It was awful. Two men in Hazmat suits just took away my pajama bottoms. I hope the guy who invented the beeping \"put on your seatbelt\" noise died in a horrible car crash. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e...to dirty.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Tickle My B*lls Elmo.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Doesn't Aer Lingus sound like you eat somebody's p*ssy on an airplane?\" \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"It's a \"c*ck\" when it's hard. A \"d*ck\" when it's soft. And a \"pen*s\" when you are at the doctor's office.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePlus, a collection of little known facts about history. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eTODAY IN HISTORY: Aqua Man drowns. Charles Limbergh crosses the street. Gravy Boat sinks outside of Turkey. Intercourse, Pennsylvian is attacked by Masturbation, Ohio.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't take our word for it. Check out what what these famous comedians had to say.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"I've never seen Brian Scolaro not win over a crowd.\" - \u003cem\u003eJeff Ross\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"The funniest person alive.\" - \u003cem\u003eMarc Maron\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Brian has never not been funny a day in his life, so there is no way this book wouldn't be.\" - \u003cem\u003eIan Edwards\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Brian is a masterful comic whose command of a joke was inspirational to me in my career.\" - \u003cem\u003eNikki Glaser\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Brian has a very busy comedy mind, and the idea that he has corralled these thoughts into something we can hold in our hand is nothing short of a gift. - \u003cem\u003eTom Papa\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Brian Scolaro\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 8643847178\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9798643847175\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Independently Published\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 05\/06\/2020\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 176\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.59lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 9.02h x 5.98w x 0.41d","brand":"Brian Scolaro","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":44126835114239,"sku":"9798643847175","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_705f38dc-78b7-49e4-a5af-cdc832d9022b.jpg?v=1687450427","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/how-to-punch-a-monkey-brian-scolaro-9798643847175","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}