{"product_id":"how-to-survive-being-3-jonathan-grimes-9798185408339","title":"How to Survive Being 3: By A Four-Year-Old Who Has Seen Some Things","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe ultimate milestone birthday gift for newly minted three-year-olds... and a hilarious survival guide for the exhausted parents who have to raise them.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eListen up, rookie. Yesterday, you were a baby. You could just lie there, drool on your shirt, and get whatever you wanted. Those days are over. Now, the Big People expect you to do things. Hard things. Like putting your own shoes on the correct feet.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWritten from the perspective of a world-weary four-year-old veteran, this is the ultimate, tactical field guide through the daily battlegrounds of toddlerhood. It covers every major hostage situation a three-year-old will face, including: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Sock Seam Crisis: \u003c\/b\u003e Why a millimeter of askew fabric means your foot is broken and you must immediately deploy \"The Dying Fire Truck\" maneuver.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Great Culinary Betrayal: \u003c\/b\u003e What to do when a molecule of broccoli touches a chicken nugget and turns your dinner plate into a crime scene.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Noodle Spine Defense: \u003c\/b\u003e How to completely remove all bones from your body to escape the giant rolling cart at the grocery store.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Bath Time Paradox: \u003c\/b\u003e How to handle the absolute hypocrisy of adults forcing you \u003ci\u003einto\u003c\/i\u003e the water, only to demand you get \u003ci\u003eout\u003c\/i\u003e the second you start splashing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e ATTENTION BIG PEOPLE (A Note on the Age Rating): \u003cp\u003eWhile this book is officially listed for \u003cb\u003eages 3 to 6\u003c\/b\u003e, please note that this is a \u003cb\u003edual-audience read-aloud book\u003c\/b\u003e. It contains longer, much funnier blocks of text than a standard \"point-and-say\" baby book.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHow to use this book: \u003c\/b\u003e Read it aloud to your child. Point at the illustrations. Look at them and say, \u003ci\u003e\"This is so you!\"\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for any parent who has ever watched their child turn into liquid spaghetti in the middle of Target.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eScroll up, grab your copy, and survive the year!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Jonathan Grimes\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9798185408339\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Independently Published\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 07\/03\/2026\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 34\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.23lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.50h x 8.50w x 0.09d","brand":"Jonathan Grimes","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":49174190850303,"sku":"9798185408339","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_f001cbc0-f55f-432c-a132-a00e4eb65842.jpg?v=1788958254","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/how-to-survive-being-3-jonathan-grimes-9798185408339","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}