{"product_id":"i-didnt-know-what-it-kevin-breugel-van-9789083526713","title":"I Didn't Know What It Was","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eI DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA raw and intimate coming-of-age novel about silence, shame, and the terrifying moment you realize the person you're pretending to be... isn't you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKyle knows how to keep the peace. At school, he's a quiet, hard-working kid on the soccer team. At home, he's the reliable older brother in a family that doesn't leave much room for uncertainty-or softness. As long as he doesn't ask questions, no one asks them back. Especially not the kind he's too scared to answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut something's shifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere are moments he can't explain. Reactions he doesn't want. Glances that last too long. And a growing disconnect between the version of himself everyone sees-and the truth he doesn't dare name.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLate at night, when the house is quiet and the mask slips, Kyle lets himself feel just enough to fall apart. In anonymous corners of the internet, he starts to speak-carefully, cautiously-to someone who doesn't expect him to be anything but honest. And that honesty begins to unravel everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause how do you hold on to the life you've built, when it was never really yours to begin with?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eI Didn't Know What It Was\u003c\/i\u003e is the first novel in the \u003ci\u003ePieces of Me\u003c\/i\u003e trilogy: a tender, vulnerable exploration of identity, internalized fear, and the slow, aching journey of learning to breathe in your own skin.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003eA must-read for anyone who's ever felt the need to hide, and the quiet hope that maybe... you don't have to.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThemes include: \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eQueer identity and internalized fear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFamily pressure and silent expectations\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoneliness, longing, and emotional isolation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe ache of not knowing who you are-but feeling it anyway\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe first spark of self-acceptance\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Kevin Breugel Van\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 9083526712\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9789083526713\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Van Breugel Books\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 09\/06\/2025\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 302\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.77lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.50h x 5.50w x 0.68d","brand":"Kevin Breugel Van","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":48801108787455,"sku":"9789083526713","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/i-didnt-know-what-it-kevin-breugel-van-9789083526713","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}