{"product_id":"im-florally-challenged-david-colpitts-9781773544793","title":"I'm Florally Challenged: And Other Mostly Humorous Tales and Poems","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eI'm Florally Challenged, \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003ewhich is inspired by some real life events and occurrences in author David Colpitts' life, is a collection of 21 short stories and poems that will make you laugh and reflect on life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn the author's own words, \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"This book will divert your thoughts with a mix of humor and irrelevant observations.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eSome of the stories are true. Some are more true than I care to admit, since I can't recall the names of flowers (the title story), fit into a wet suit nor remember to floss.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSome are almost fabrications. Have you taken a young lady hiking or to soccer practice when she is more interested in young men? There can be consequences. You might get a kitten!..\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e Excerpt from \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eI'm Florally Challenged \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eby David Colpitts: \u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"My barrel chest and washboard stomach have switched places. That phenomenon has changed more than my mating habits. It has changed how wetsuits fit me. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMy old suit was past its life expectancy. I needed a new one for white- water canoeing in rivers refrigerated by glacial water. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHypothermia, I've heard, is one of the better ways to go, but could render the dearly departed unsuitable for an open casket and I wanted my mother-in-law to see that I had died with a smile on my face. Clearly, I had to get a new wetsuit. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAn internet search showed they were readily available online. The sizing seemed straightforward enough: weight, 155 to 180 pounds, height between 5'9\" and 6'0\". Medium-large. That's me. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe online catalog showed models steely-of-eye and firm-of-chin looking movie star sleek, muscles distinct beneath the rubberized sheath. With a few clicks of the mouse, that could be me. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWell, not quite me. I would have to practice the steely-eye gaze essential for seeking a route through tricky eddies and currents, just like those canoeists pictured in the wetsuits. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe ever-present chiseled chin might be a problem, too, but I did have a few days to bushy up some facial hair to hide my three unchiseled chins.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e David Colpitts\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 1773544799\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9781773544793\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Pagemaster Publishing\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 06\/12\/2023\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 100\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.25lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.00h x 5.25w x 0.21d","brand":"David Colpitts","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":48742647759103,"sku":"9781773544793","price":7.6,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/im-florally-challenged-david-colpitts-9781773544793","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}