{"product_id":"the-best-most-useful-self-josh-kilen-9798307078358","title":"The Best Most Useful Self Help Book Ever!","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Best Self-Help Book You'll Never Need to Read (Because Buying It Counts as Reading It*)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEver wondered why every life-changing revelation comes in exactly seven steps? Or why your morning routine isn't transformative enough unless it involves pre-dawn headstands and astronomically priced green juice?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn this wickedly observant satire, our cheerfully delusional narrator guides you through the art of becoming a self-help guru - without all that messy business of actually achieving anything first. From creating color-coded spreadsheets to track your emotional growth (because feelings need proper data visualization) to mastering the art of looking profound while probably being uncomfortable, this book expertly skewers the industry's most beloved traditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou'll discover: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhy sleeping is for people who don't want success badly enough (according to people who've never met a successful person)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHow to convert your existential crisis into profitable Instagram content\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe exact mathematical formula for happiness (margin of error: your entire life)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdvanced techniques in strategic gratitude monetization\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhy adding \"quantum\" to basic concepts instantly makes them profound\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eWritten with just enough buzzwords to sound credible without being comprehensible, this guide reveals the insider secrets of transforming common sense into trademarked wisdom. Learn how to repackage your morning coffee ritual as a \"Neural Caffeine Optimization Protocol(TM)\" and turn your cat's stretching routine into an ancient wisdom practice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for readers who've ever wondered why they need another book about morning routines, or anyone who's suspicious about why every breakthrough requires a companion masterclass. Warning: May cause unexpected bouts of self-awareness and the irresistible urge to add \"(TM)\" to random phrases.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eJoin the movement that's not actually a movement (unless enough people start calling it one) and discover why the secret to success isn't in doing things - it's in writing books about doing things.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDisclaimer: Reading this book counts as completing it, as the mere act of purchase triggers a success response in your cerebral cortex. Results may vary, but the author's confidence won't. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e* It's a quantum thing, so you know it's real.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Josh Kilen\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9798307078358\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Independently Published\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 01\/15\/2025\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 198\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.57lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.50h x 5.50w x 0.45d","brand":"Josh Kilen","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":48066481324287,"sku":"9798307078358","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_c2b5f566-d27a-4617-9b5d-7903b8663ae8.jpg?v=1768678707","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/the-best-most-useful-self-josh-kilen-9798307078358","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}