{"product_id":"the-futures-so-bright-my-matthew-wolfe-9780999519653","title":"The Future's So Bright, My Third Eye Needs Shade: Dr. Strange Wolfe's Verbal View Of a Very Weird World","description":"THIS BOOK contains jokes, one-liners, short stories, anecdotes, poems, and some indescribable bits of verbiage that I, and several of my personalities, think are funny. A WOLFEMAN'S SAMPLER! \"Life is like a book of humor\": I crossed my eyes, and now they're pouting at me. *** My lawyer: The truth will set you free. Me: You should have gone to a better law school. *** The worst thing about living alone? There's never anyone around to pull my finger. *** I know a mystic from New England. Her inner light is a Yankee Candle. *** My upstairs neighbors have a Roomba Vacuum Cleaner. So I got a big magnet and a stepladder. Now when they're at work, I make crop circles in their carpet *** .Small minds are never blown away. They just pop like bubble wrap. *** Ex-girlfriend: You're so stubborn that if you pissed in the river, it'd flow upstream. *** When I grow up, I want to be a euphemism writer for the Pentagon. *** This book is as useful as a heart monitor in a morgue.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Matthew Wolfe\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 0999519654\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9780999519653\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Samuel Wolfe Books\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 06\/17\/2020\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 162\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.37lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 7.99h x 5.00w x 0.35d","brand":"Matthew Wolfe","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":48441679544575,"sku":"9780999519653","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_06c5a57b-2f53-46e1-bf11-00c2e662804e.jpg?v=1777192247","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/the-futures-so-bright-my-matthew-wolfe-9780999519653","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}