{"product_id":"the-slashers-guide-to-romance-giovanna-bruni-9798245879451","title":"The Slasher's Guide To Romance: A Valentine Romance for the Lovelorn","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFinding \"The One\" is a numbers game. Unfortunately for my dating life, the numbers usually end up in a shallow grave.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy name is Silas. You might know me from the evening news, or perhaps from the true crime podcast my girlfriend hosts (she doesn't know she's my girlfriend yet, but we're working on it).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor years, I thought love was a trap. Then I found a box of water-damaged romance novels in a basement, and I realized I had it all wrong. The Duke doesn't give up when the heroine runs away. The Highland Laird doesn't let a little thing like a restraining order stand in the way of true love.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey persist. They conquer. They win.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was ready to burn it all down. I just needed the right woman.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThen I found Maeve.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe hosts a true crime podcast. She is the only one who sees me and hasn't run away screaming. Yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is just one problem. His name is Marcus. He drives an Audi, wears cashmere, and offers her a life of safety and boredom. He is the Unworthy Suitor, and Valentine's Day is approaching fast.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe old me would have removed the obstacle with a hunting knife. But the new me-the suitor, the romantic-knows that won't work. I can't just kill the competition; I have to \u003ci\u003eoutclass\u003c\/i\u003e him.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have to prove to Maeve that she doesn't want safe. She wants the man who will stand outside her window in a blizzard just to make sure she sleeps through the night.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThis is not just a love story. It is a manual.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside \u003ci\u003eThe Slasher's Guide to Romance\u003c\/i\u003e, I will teach you: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eRule #14: \u003c\/b\u003e How to properly intimidate a rival without leaving forensic evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eRule #33: \u003c\/b\u003e The difference between \"stalking\" and \"devoted surveillance\" (It's mostly about lighting).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eRule #52: \u003c\/b\u003e When to break a lock, and when to just slide a love letter under the door.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003eLove is messy. But if you do it right, no one has to call the cops.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eThis is a fast-paced dark romance with a morally gray male lead. Some themes and scenes may be disturbing to readers. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eTROPES: \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003ci\u003e \u003cb\u003eStalker Romance\u003c\/b\u003e (He falls first... and hard), \u003cb\u003eVillain Gets the Girl, \u003c\/b\u003e \u003cb\u003eTrue Crime Podcaster x The Subject\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb\u003eDark Rom-Com \/ Satire\u003c\/b\u003e, \u003cb\u003eGolden Retriever Energy (If the dog was a wolf)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Giovanna Bruni\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9798245879451\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Independently Published\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 01\/27\/2026\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 148\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.39lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.50h x 5.50w x 0.34d","brand":"Giovanna Bruni","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":48743088554239,"sku":"9798245879451","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/the-slashers-guide-to-romance-giovanna-bruni-9798245879451","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}