{"product_id":"the-witch-demands-a-retraction-melissa-balmain-9781954158061","title":"The Witch Demands a Retraction: Fairy Tale Reboots for Adults","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePinocchio Runs for Office, The Peeved Piper, Not So Snow White\u003c\/strong\u003e and so many more in this \u003cstrong\u003etwisted collection of adult fairy tales!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis \u003cstrong\u003ehilarious\u003c\/strong\u003e collection of poems by Melissa Balmain puts a grown-up, contemporary spin on the stories and characters we all learned as children, from \u003cstrong\u003eLittle Red Riding Hood, to the Three Bears, the Pied Piper, and Cinderella\u003c\/strong\u003e; each delightfully depicted in full-color by Ron Barrett, (\u003cem\u003eCloudy with a Chance of Meatballs\u003c\/em\u003e) one of the best and award winning illustrators in the business.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eEarly Praise for The Witch Demands a Retraction: \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"If you're looking for the perfect bedtime poetry to send your little ones peacefully to dreamland, keep moving. In \u003cem\u003eThe Witch Demands a Retraction\u003c\/em\u003e, Melissa Balmain's poetic retakes of classic fairytales, 'happy endings' means something else, and Mama Bear finds a clue in her bed that Goldilocks was not after the porridge. Witty, cringey, and hilarious. For every parent who wants a break from sincerity, and for every bad aunt or uncle looking for the perfect gift - this is your book.\" - \u003cstrong\u003eTom Bodett, author and NPR personality\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"This is an extremely irresponsible book - imprudent, unconscionable, certain to emotionally scar impressionable children for life. I highly recommend it.\" - \u003cstrong\u003eGene Weingarten, syndicated humor columnist, \u003cem\u003eThe Washington Post\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Like Leopold and Loeb, Balmain and Barrett are a pair that will go down in history-not that I'm implying anything. It's just that when the right pair gets together at the right time, great things happen. And if a cousin or two had to die for this book? Totally worth it.\" - \u003cstrong\u003eMichael Gerber, Publisher, \u003cem\u003eThe American Bystander\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Does anyone say, 'OH NO SHE DI-INT!' anymore? Because that will be your response to basically every poem in this treat of a book. Balmain turns every fairy tale on its head and shows us its panties, none the worse for wear. Just don't be drinking anything while you read, because these verses are a recipe for spit takes. Balmain has a warped mind and astonishing wit matched thoroughly by her warm heart. Come for the fart joke, stay for the sly and bawdy feminism.\"- \u003cstrong\u003eFaith Salie, comedian, author, journalist, seen \u0026amp; heard on CBS, NPR \u0026amp; PBS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e Melissa Balmain\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-10:\u003c\/b\u003e 1954158068\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN-13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9781954158061\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Humorist Books\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eLanguage:\u003c\/b\u003e English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 04\/16\/2021\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 44\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eFormat:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.27lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.50h x 8.50w x 0.12d","brand":"Melissa Balmain","offers":[{"title":"Paperback","offer_id":43987036340479,"sku":"9781954158061","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0662\/2982\/9887\/files\/img_bb9a525c-eb2e-4363-9f6d-2c40ef9d35f1.jpg?v=1683286634","url":"https:\/\/www.whiterainbookhouse.com\/products\/the-witch-demands-a-retraction-melissa-balmain-9781954158061","provider":"WR Book House","version":"1.0","type":"link"}