101 Reasons to Kill All the Lawyers: That Part Which Laws or Lawyers Can Cause or Cure (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9780987489401)

My resume states, 'Schooling: St Thomas More, Chelsea, London'. However, my school report read, 'Lazy, talkative and notable'. I thought "notable" did not sound too bad until I realised it was 'not able'. They were the days before parent rage stalked school halls and teachers would give their unrestrained opinions, such as my gym teacher who wrote 'physically immobile'. I joined London's Metropolitan Police Cadets where for two years the instructors shouted "move yourself" and "shut up"; still good advice for me today. At 18, I left the police and went to a US Summer Camp as a Counsellor which changed my life and within four years my resume would record LL.B (Hons). My first job was as a law clerk at McMillan Binch, a large Toronto firm. Unlike Australia, an Englishman in Canada is not immediately disliked; they wait a few minutes. I became a solicitor at New Scotland Yard. In 1985, my wife, a lawyer and I opened the first Brennans Solicitors in Lewisham, South London. On the first weekend someone carved their initials into our brass plate and a man was murdered in the pub next door. After two years, we emigrated to Sydney. Within six months of arriving, the flat property market boomed and my wife and I had set up Brennans No. Two. The boom ended and we went to Hong Kong, where we stayed for ten years. At first I was a consultant at a criminal firm. I dealt with smugglers, Madams and a transvestite shoplifter. It was an improved class of criminal clientele, and better dressed too. After that I was at the Hong Kong Law Society conducting investigations, disciplinary proceedings and intervening in failed solicitors' practices. I ran the Macau Marathon. The following day I found the pain eased by walking backwards. For the next five years I was at the US multi-national Intel, conducting anti-piracy raids in Asia: limos, stock options, five star hotels and no billable hours. Like most people working in-house, I resent any of you for thinking that it was easy. After Intel, I was called to the Bar and became a tenant barrister in the Temple, London. From there, I was head hunted to be General Counsel of the Federation Against Software Theft to conduct enforcement and lobbying in the UK and Europe. Now, I am in Brennans No 3 a general practice with my wife on Queensland's Sunshine Coast. We have four children and yes, I did lecture them on the importance of hard work by skating over my own school record, as most parents do.