45 Holes: Real-Life Adventures with Cash-Hungry Harlots (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9781537479156)

Kilgore Trout is not a real person. He is a character created by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. who appears in a whole bunch of famous novels and stories. In those stories, Kilgore Trout is usually a frustrated science fiction writer who sells stories to pulp magazines. Editors at these sordid publications would gladly purchase these stories to fill the blank spaces between pictures of naked people. As you might imagine, most of Kilgore Trout's writing was not even read. In fact, the most attention these stories ever got was at cocktail parties where Kilgore Trout would quickly summarize his far-fetched science fiction plot-lines in an effort to make people laugh or convince pretty girls to go home with him. He was a lonely man. Most girls at cocktail parties do not find science fiction a turn-on. Over the years, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. has explained that Kilgore Trout was a fictitious character base on his close friend, Theodore Sturgeon. Theodore Sturgeon was a very real person who wrote science fiction stories to fill the blank spaces between naked pictures in girlie magazines. It's not clear, however, how effective he was at picking up chicks at intimate gatherings for social drinking. In case you were wondering, Kilgore Trout, Jr. is not a real person either. He also is not related to Kilgore Trout or Theodore Sturgeon in any way. Now, I have to be very clear on this point because I do not want Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. or anyone representing Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. and his interests to sue me. So far, stories penned by the make-believe Kilgore Trout, Jr. have generated a total of $5.74 cents, and I need every penny of that for bus fare. So, let me say this again. The "Jr." in Kilgore Trout, Jr.'s name does not represent or allude to any genetic, familial heritage, or philosophical connection to Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s similarly named creation. Instead, this moniker is a direct reference to stature. When it comes right down to it, Kilgore Trout, Jr. does not measure up to the real, made-up Kilgore Trout. In fact, he falls significantly short in talent, notoriety and his ability to convince pretty girls to go home with him from parties of any sort. I'm also pretty sure Kilgore Trout made significantly more money for Mr. Vonnegut, Jr. With that in mind, I hope you enjoy the writings of Kilgore Trout, Jr., my pen-name for stories that I am too embarrassed to attach my real name to. Thank you. And welcome to the monkey house.