Bathwater out with the Babies: Sex, Love, and Marriage in a World Where Fertility is Optional (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9798994755372)

We don't need to go backward, but we sure can't continue like this.

For all but the last two generations of human history, sex could always lead to pregnancy. This mundane fact was a foundation societies were built on.

But after the introduction of reliable birth control, that foundational reality became optional.

This gave us the opportunity to evaluate what was built on that foundation and we took it.

Since human sexuality, marital norms, and sex differences were largely based on pregnancy, it wasn't crazy to reconsider them when fertility became optional.

But looking at the carnage that is modern dating, at male loneliness and female unhappiness, and at the hostility between the sexes; we have gone too far. Many of the norms we threw away were essential after all. Either essential to our nature or at least essential to the broader society we want to be a part of.

Bathwater out with the Babies is about what is still essential.

It starts with biology. What humans are ordered to before culture and certainly before birth control.

Next is a description of American culture before the sexual revolution. This was the last coherent, stable culture we had. To see the flaws in our own disorder, we need a comparison and this is the closest functioning culture to what we currently have.

Next is what remains after birth control severed the sex/pregnancy link:

• That sex still leads to bonding
• That marriage is still valuable; before or without children
• That there are substantial differences between men and women beyond pregnancy.

After establishing this new foundation of what we are and what we still must be, it is applied:

• The elements of marriage we need to have to make the most of the relationship.
• Why a deliberate marriage with an actual wedding is more valuable than ever despite how acceptable it is to shack up without getting married.
• Why to marry the right person as soon as practicable and what to do while you are searching for them.

Ideally, this book finds you young enough to make the most of it. To help you work towards the marriage, family, and life you want before our society's default path constrains you.

But it is fun for all and everyone will learn plenty.

• Anyone who has ever asked, "what is wrong with the other sex?"
• Any woman who has doubted the men who claim they can't get a date while the men that she dates treat her as disposable.
• Any man who has had his head bitten off for respecting a woman by calling her "ma'am."

But most important, this book will show you why it is better to be married than not and why it is better to be married as soon as you are ready.