Caller 9: The Bartered Broadcast: Trade? Whats that? (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9798317418922)

CALLER 9: THE BARTERED BROADCAST
A novel by George L. Feola

Welcome to Tremonton, Utah. Population: eccentric. Currency: negotiable. Economy: powered by coupon books, livestock, and the sheer willpower of a station mascot with better grooming than the on-air talent.

At the far end of a half-abandoned strip mall sits KTRM-FM, a radio station so committed to chaos, its transmitter has its own mood swings and name-Bertha. This is where our reluctant hero, Jerry Prince, 23 years old and already emotionally weathered like a thrift-store recliner, finds himself. After fleeing the soul-numbing world of corporate broadcasting, Jerry hoped for a fresh start in small-town radio. What he got instead was a barter economy, a haunted coffee maker, and a German Shepherd named Kitten who refuses to follow orders but will accept bribes in cheese cubes.

In this satirical send-up of broadcasting gone sideways, Jerry is introduced to a station that operates entirely on creative economics. Forget payroll. At KTRM, you earn your keep in soap, pies, used record collections, and the occasional jar of pickles. Got a vintage lawn flamingo? Boom-30 seconds of ad time. Know a guy who fixes tractors and sings baritone? Great, you're booked for Tuesday's live remote.

The staff of KTRM includes:

• Jesse Smith, a trade-obsessed General Manager with a Rolodex that includes alpaca sanctuaries and candle-makers named Moonbeam.

• Bob Hillard, the station's Chief Engineer and duct-tape wizard, who treats Bertha like an ex he can't quite quit.

• And of course, Kitten, the radio station's overly expressive dog who doubles as a greeter, security, unpaid intern, and accidental programming director.

As Jerry learns to navigate live reads for goat cheese, potluck diplomacy, and contests sponsored by bowling alleys and suspicious hot tubs, he begins to wonder if this oddball operation might just have more heart than anywhere else he's worked. That is, if he can survive the on-air disasters, aggressive listeners, and the time Kitten accidentally broadcast farm reports from 1977 during drive time.

Things go further off the rails when:

• Jerry's show becomes a regional hit thanks to a listener who trades pickled eggs for a daily shoutout,

• A barter deal involving VHS tapes, three crates of zucchini, and an inflatable bouncy castle sparks a power struggle,

• And the mayor offers Jerry honorary citizenship-if he'll emcee the local Goat Pageant.

As chaos reigns, the station becomes something of a community hub, proving that even if your business model is based on baked goods and mild delusion, you can still make a difference. Caller 9: The Bartered Broadcast is a comedy of errors, a love letter to independent media, and a satirical romp through small-town absurdity.

This book includes:

A side plot involving used toasters as prizes.
An accidental naked dunk tank incident.
The world's only radio-hosted corn maze hotline.
Listener call-ins that double as free therapy.
Enough barter deals to start a parallel economy.

Will Jerry bring order to KTRM?
Will the barter system finally collapse under the weight of unpaid advertising?
Will Kitten host her own overnight show called "Bone to Pick with America"?

So grab a coupon, slap on some headphones, and prepare to enter a world where nothing makes sense and everything smells vaguely like lavender soap and corn dogs.

Because Caller 9 isn't just a radio contest.
It's survival of the weirdest.