Chasing Misty: Sexual Obsession Stalks Three Couples (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9781453858875)

I grew up in Northeast Texas on the rural edge of a small dairy town, reading all kinds of animals, gardens, trees, and grandparents like scripture. And lots and lots of books. My first career was teaching college English, the second was pastoring in an evangelical church, and the last was developing educational curricula; a common thread was packaging information people might find useful. Spiritual stuff was always central. In the beginning, that meant religion, but eventually the languages the arts use won out over the languages theologies use. I was always wondering how to expand calm and cheer, how to shrink fear and anger and impatience and judgmental rigidity. All that reading may have helped de-construct some delusions, but it didn't do much to modify feelings and behavior; I just evolved into a more and more intelligent jerk. I was like a city-dweller who wanted to eat organic tomatoes, knew all about it, but didn't plant seeds, keep them watered, get dirty, and repel pests. Mainly, I complained about the food I was eating. Six years ago, I started to meditate. It was an instant fit; the side-effects were very nice. Sitting zazen still seems to "weed the garden" fairly well. What still occupies me steadily is how to become more alive, less stuck in afflictive emotions, more present to "Things As It Is."