Checking All the Wrong Boxes: A dating comedy for anyone who's ever rejected Mr. Perfect... for all the wrong reasons (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9798287987602)

One woman. Eight dating disasters. Zero self-awareness. Maximum chaos.

Meet Sarah, professional dater and amateur human disaster who's rejected more men than a nightclub bouncer with commitment issues.

Her Complete Hall of Shame:
Connor - Too short (she measured)
Tyler - Too bald (reflective hazard)
Jason - Too unemployed (730 days and counting)
Brad - Too... nutty (literally sells nuts)
Michael - Too close to family (lives with parents)
Jake - Too dreamy (musician = broke)
Daniel - Too perfect (and boring)
Ethan - Too smart (saw right through her)

Plot twist: She IS the problem.

Sarah's shopping for boyfriends like they're Amazon appliances. Must be 6'+ tall, financially stable, full head of hair, impressive job title, own apartment.

Her actual thoughts:

"What am I going to tell friends? That my boyfriend arranges nuts at the farmer's market?"
"His scalp gleamed like a professional billiard ball"
"He pulled out his CVS card asking if coffee 'counts toward dental points'"

When perfect Ethan REJECTS HER for being a shallow nightmare, Sarah's dating philosophy explodes like a glitter bomb in a wind tunnel.

Suddenly she realizes: She's been the villain in her own love story.

But wait! There's more disaster!
Her best friend Ryan, who delivers forgotten laptops and tolerates her personality, has been IN LOVE WITH HER for three years.

Sarah's reaction: "Wait, RYAN? The one I call to process feelings about other men? Who's been waiting while I dated half of Manhattan looking for someone exactly like him? Oops."

Now she must seduce the one person who's witnessed her romantic stupidity. Her secret weapon? Insider intelligence about what makes him tick and a strategic wardrobe choice that's definitely not appropriate for casual coffee dates.

Let's just say her research pays off. Big time.

This book is for you if you've ever:

• Rejected someone for driving a Honda instead of a BMW

• Made pros/cons lists about humans

• Had a friend group chat analyzing your terrible dating choices

• Sabotaged decent people while "waiting for the right person"

What you'll get:

• Unfiltered thoughts that shouldn't be said aloud

• Secondhand embarrassment requiring therapy

• Friends-to-lovers with creative problem-solving

• Friend group chaos with betting pools

• Strategic romantic warfare (tastefully executed)

Warning: Side effects include uncontrollable public snort-laughing, questioning every dating decision ever made, texting your male best friend "hey, are you in love with me?", and sudden appreciation for patient, reliable men. Contains adult themes, strong language, and steamy romantic situations.

Sarah's dating disasters are your new guilty pleasure. Sometimes the perfect person was right there, you were just too busy rejecting people for normal human flaws.

One-click for the most chaotic love story of the year.

Warning: May cause sudden urges to text people you've friend-zoned.