crossing (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9781484040317)

As a kid, I always wanted to write. But first there were roller skates, then there was school, there there was the bar and then there were girls. Yes, in that order: I was born and grew up in The Netherlands. I once tried to write a story when I was in my late teens - a Part II to the movie Space Camp. I think I was just in love with Lea Thompson. I didn't get very far past the first page. I never thought over writing again, at least not until about 10 years ago. I was far too busy with work and life. But then something happened. At the age of 59, my mom had a stroke and passed away. My dad had Altzheimer's and he had to be moved into a full time care facility. Two years later, at the age of 69, he too passed away. What really triggered my writing was the enormous amount of anger I felt. Not anger over their deaths. No, that was sadness. The anger I felt was because I did not get visited by their ghosts. I did not see them standing at the foot of my bed. I did not get any signs from them. In other words, they were simply gone. I tried to keep my emotions bottled up, but that didn't work quite so well. I knew I had to get them out. In the middle of one winter, I wrote a brief poem about how everyone else sees beautiful white snow and all I saw was grey, dirty slush, and that made me realize that I actually felt better if I just wrote things down. So, about 7 years ago, I started writing a novel. The idea was never to publish, but instead it was simply a way for me to, anonymously, get my thoughts on paper. And out of my head. That book took me about 5 years to write and eventually became "undying". My second book, "crossing", deals with a lot of the issues that are the result of depression, including the fact that depression is often not the result of a depressing life. My third book, the forthcoming "fading", deals with my fear of death. These three novels are not erotic fantasies. There are no werewolves, no murder mysteries and no political drama. Other books cover those topics just fine. My novels deal with life, death, love, soul, spirit and spirituality. They are not autobiographies, but of course I did draw upon some of my own experiences to write them. I am not Matt, but I contributed toward his personality. I am not (yet) writing books to make a living. For now I just write when I'm not at work, hanging out with my wife and early-teen son, dog and four cats, riding my bike or sailing my kayak. Maarten Smits