Don't Get Murdered WhileGrocery Shopping (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9798288179815)

Are you tired of living like a normal person? Do you treat every DoorDash delivery as a potential crime scene? Have you ever side-eyed your barista just because their handwriting looked a little too much like the Zodiac's?

Then welcome to Don't Get Murdered While Grocery Shopping, the world's most completely unhinged survival manual written for true crime obsessives who believe every creaky floorboard, late-night jogger, or oddly enthusiastic neighbor is a ticking Netflix documentary.

Written by Clover Stabworthy III, who once evacuated a spin class because she thought she saw a ghost holding an axe (it was a towel), this guide blends hardcore paranoia with zero practicality. Learn how to scream silently, how to detect "murderer eyes" through sunglasses, and why your safest hiding place is always behind the frozen peas.

This is not just a book. It's a lifestyle warning.