Heartscapes (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9798886221473)

from "Lost and Found Again"

I got lost again

in the maze of my mind

But this time I managed to leave my good sense behind

I thought that putting a bullet in my brain

would take away the fear and stop the pain

How tragic, how insane!

If only I could set my soul free from my body

I'd be at peace again

I'd live in ecstasy

from the preface to Meryl's forthcoming memoir "By Grace, I Dance"

On June 11, 1987, following a three-month period of hopelessness, self-doubt and fear I shot myself in the head at point-blank range with a 22 caliber Beretta pistol my husband brought home one carefree afternoon for protection and target practice. It is a miracle that I am still alive to tell you this story. Even as I write these words now, years after the "accident", I am amazed and horrified by what I actually did.