I Wanted to Die: What Led Me There, What Brought Me Back, and What Helped Me Rebuild (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9798255074334)

In 2011, I tried to kill myself.

What followed was a week in the hospital, an experience that changed the way I understood my life, and the beginning of a long, uneven process of rebuilding. I Wanted to Die is my attempt to understand what led me into suicidal thinking, what I got wrong about myself and the world, and what helped me slowly build a life I no longer wanted to escape.

This is not a book of perfect answers, and it is not a miracle cure. It is a personal account of survival, self-examination, and change. It is about choice and consequence, learning how to think more clearly, building useful skills, becoming more whole, finding community, and trying to become someone honest enough to live as himself.

Part memoir and part reflection, this book traces the path from self-destruction toward something more stable, more intentional, and more alive. Along the way, I share the ideas, habits, and hard lessons that helped me most - not as universal solutions, but as tools that mattered in my own life.

If you are struggling, rebuilding, or trying to understand how a life narrows toward despair and how it might slowly widen again, I hope this book offers a place to start.