The Competently Quirky Parables of an Eccentric Master Gardener (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9780998572550)

Some people plant a few flowers. Some grow veggies in summer. Maybe they have a little spider plant or bamboo in the office.

I am not exactly one of those people. My philodendron extends from one pot on a shelf across three walls in my dining room. The Maple sapling in my front yard cries when temperatures top 100 degrees. Starbucks baristas across the city save coffee grounds for me. Plant catalogs choke my mailbox and, yes, this 69 year old Master Gardener owns a tractor.

I can get somewhat obsessive about it all. My husband has grown accustomed to my insistence that vacations must be planned around key times for vegetable garden harvesting. I write two page long watering instructions for house sitters in the fervent desire that leaving for a week won't destroy the charm and beauty of my home environment.

My unusual methods of approaching the challenges of the garden are effective, and I've given lectures for gardening clubs on various aspects of gardening from creating microclimates in high desert areas to vacuuming squash bugs. My friends smile and call me eccentric, fellow gardeners acknowledge me as competent and my kids just think I'm kinda quirky.

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Comments from readers:

From Fil Chavez, author of "Unused Towels"

MAD MAD MAD . . . with lots of really good advice!

I am not a serious gardener, I am more of a "Well, I tried but ..." Nonetheless, this is indeed CRAZY MAD HUMOR ... i.e., "squash bugs .... Horniest critters in the insect world ... Live in a constant state of post-coital euphoria ... take a cold bath" and it gets better! It is definitely worth getting the book. Thanks, Rosie!

Parris Afton Bonds, Internationally Published Romance Author

THE THRILL OF IT ALL EVEN THE MANURE

Rosie Kern entertains with humor the agony and ecstasy of her gardening experience. Whether you are a gardening afficionado or not, you will enjoy her foray into her passion for gardening

Michael Hilarious yet educational take on gardening

From the first sentence, Rosie has such an engaging style of writing, laced with humor. And if you're not careful, you might even learn something.