The Funniest People Who Live Life (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9798215423332)

Soem samples:

1) An impoverished cobbler once complained to R. Ezekiel that whenever he worked a little too long, continuing his work into the Sabbath, his neighbors reproached him. On the other hand, the factories of the richest Jew in town continued to be busy all during the Sabbath with chimneys belching smoke into the air, and no one ever reproached the rich Jew. R. Ezekiel explained that the cobbler's neighbors were looking out for him. Because the cobbler was poor, he was not able to enjoy many of the good things of this world. The rich Jew, on the other hand, because he was rich, was able to enjoy many of the good things of this world. Therefore, R. Ezekiel said, "That rich Jew enjoys this world, and if by desecrating the Sabbath he loses the world to come, at least he has something. But it is different with you. If you remain working after the holy Sabbath has begun, you will be in danger of losing both worlds."

2) Emperor Fo-siu respected the Buddhist priest Si-tien and told him that he could have any treasure-including gold, silver, jewels, priceless works of art-he wanted, provided that he could carry it away in one trip. He then gave Si-tien the key to the royal treasure rooms. However, Emperor Fo-siu was surprised to see Si-tien return very quickly, leading a small girl by the hand. Emperor Fo-siu told Si-tien, "I wanted to give you something valuable, not a dirty orphan. Why did you choose her?" Si-tien replied, "In choosing the child, I chose many rewards-smiles, laughter, affection, small hands and feet, ribbons thrown about in disarray, and the love of a small child for a caring parent."

3) Dorothy Parker declined to be weepy. When her husband, Alan Campbell, died, a friend stopped by and asked if he could do anything. Ms. Parker said no, but the friend insisted that there must be something he could do, so Ms. Parker said, "Well, if you insist, go to the corner and get me a tuna on rye, hold the mayo." Ms. Parker once said that she wanted her epitaph to say, "If you can read this, you're too close."

4) Comedian Bill Hicks and his comedian friends loved to watch such religious programs as "The PTL [Praise the Lord and People That Love] Club." They used to make bets about how long it would take the preacher to stop talking about Jesus and start talking about dollars.