Things Better Than Boobs (Paperback) (ISBN-13: 9781438967226)

At an early age Rasbury became widely recognized as the informal leader of Person's with Influence (PWI), an indigenous and sought after societal group both intimidating and selective in its recruitment of members. Practicing a form of ancient sophistry, they offered general knowledge and unspoken services in exchange for money and gifts. Sophistry was intensely popular in pre-socratic times but lost momentum until Rasbury rekindled its' fundamental principles. Dubbed as PWI's ringleader, horse whispers around town say Rasbury was Marlon Brando's inspiration for the Godfather character.

Rasbury's major money-maker came after he started I'll Eat You, Inc., a company focused on crafting personalized chocolate pops. After Rasbury split from PWI, he fell in love with a botanist named Kitten, only to have his best old x-friend Ray pilfer and marry her. But knowing Kitten's exact dimensions, and to infuriate Ray, Rasbury crafted delicous chocolate "Kitten Pops," distributing them nationally with this slogan: "Have your way with Kitten, my x-friends wife, she's delicous!" Shortly thereafter, I'll Eat You, Inc. took off like a jitterbug, creating and distributing chocolate molds for over 3,500 people daily.

On the side, Rasbury is also a free-lance writer, motivational speaker, and inventor of the rare color dunebuggy brown. He also owns the chain Nip N' Cuts, a topless barber shop that exceeds over $1 billion in annual sales. Some argue that sales of Nip N' Cuts would be greater if Rasbury didn't air-condition each location. But Rasbury sticks to his maxim: "the colder the shop, the more magical the experience." Rasbury will soon be launching another highly anticipated product, Erotic GPS: "Sexed Up Navigation for those who cum and go." Rasbury's recent case study showed that the market for a dirty-talkin' GPS is bigger than the directional voice will make you.

For more information, visit TheodoreRasbury.com.